A gracEmail subscriber writes: “I’m approaching the first anniversary of my divorce and I’m still struggling with so much anger, pain and even guilt over what I could have done differently to make my husband stay. He left me for another woman and I just can’t seem to let go of all these negative emotions. I don’t know how to move beyond all this.”
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We cannot change the past and there is no value in trying to relive it now. Instead, focus on living in the present with each new day that God gives you to enjoy. Taken together, those new days constitute your (as yet unfulfilled) future. I encourage you to place your hand firmly in God’s hand and then to keep moving forward. God is faithful and he will give you what you need as you need it.
There might come a time when it would be useful to reflect on your past attitudes and actions as a tool toward personal growth. But you cannot do that profitably while flooded with negative emotions. Both healing and forgiveness are ours through Jesus’ substitutionary death. If you have not done so already, sincerely thank God for Jesus’ sacrifice, tell him all the details of your pain and guilt, then step by faith into a new quality of life based on Jesus’ resurrection from the dead.
You can also turn your anger over to God. Bring him your complaints about your ex-husband, the “other woman” and anyone else who has harmed you. Please remember this: you did not “make” your husband do anything. He is responsible for his own actions. Ask God to pour his divine forgiveness into your heart and to replace your anger with his peace. He will do it!