A gracEmail reader and her husband are divorcing because they think they have nothing in common anymore. Meanwhile, she has found a male friend who so resonates with her that she wonders if they might be “soul-mates” — two souls created to find each other and to be together. Finally, she asks, can she be forgiven if she marries this friend some day after her divorce is final?
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I am afraid that the “soul-mate” notion is a romantic invention. It makes for sweet stories and sentimental movies, but it totally lacks any scriptural basis. Certainly, some people seem to “match” each other while others do not. However, much of that is the result of factors which can be known before marriage and which courtship is intended to discover.
It is most likely that this questioner and her husband once believed that they had very much in common. I do not know how long they have been married, but they have undoubtedly created a shared history and many shared memories since they wed. The complaint of nothing in common now probably simply means that one or both of them is not paying attention to the other as they once did. Serious concentration and determined effort (with God’s help) can very often see troubled marriages not only repaired but made better than ever before. I encourage you to check out the ministry of Family Dynamics Institute, Joe Beam, Norman & Ann Bales, or some other competent Christian counselor. There is hope for healing!
The Bible says that God hates divorce. So do almost all those who are ever involved in it, when they see the harm it causes and the hurt to everyone involved. It is always a sign of human failure and brokenness, even when it seems the lesser of two evils. But the other side of the coin is that God can forgive our sins and failings and that he does so when we genuinely repent and claim his forgiveness. Hopefully, we learn from our experience and we do not have to repeat it. God often makes something good out of a bad situation. He is rightly famous for that!