A Christian sister writes that she has a friend who is dedicated to the Lord. This friend is a “very beautiful woman” who sometimes wears dresses that reveal more of her beauty than the sister thinks is appropriate for the general public. The sister has pointed this out to her repeatedly to no avail. She asks for my advice.
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The New Testament urges Christian women to dress in proper clothing (“modest apparel,” KJV), which it defines as garb that is neither grandiose nor overly-conspicuous, coupled with hairstyles and jewelry which do not detract from the priceless adornment of good deeds and a godly spirit (1 Tim. 2:8-10; 1 Peter 3:2-5). The Apostles Peter and Paul would be at least as concerned today about the woman whose extravagant apparel and accessories turn every head as they would be about her Christian sister whose neckline might be a little low or skirtline a little high.
Christian women are admonished to be pure (Titus 2:5). Attire that is sexually provocative is contrary to that goal. Exactly what that means is left to each individual conscience to decide, attuned to God’s Spirit. God desires us to be noticed, known and remembered for what is eternal and invaluable, not for physical appearance which at best is short-lived and has absolutely nothing to do with inner and lasting beauty.
Since the Bible does not specify the details of proper dress, and since you say that your friend is seeking to please God, I believe you will need to trust the Holy Spirit to convict her of any shortcoming in that area. You can pray for her to be sensitive to the Spirit — perhaps even gently encourage her to do so — but “preaching” at her would be both inappropriate and counterproductive. The best way you can teach is by your own example, which you can control and for which you are personally responsible.
