A preaching brother says that he “entered the ministry” a few years after his conversion at the prompting of his own spiritual leader and other Christians. Years later, he “left the ministry,” exhausted and feeling himself to be an unworthy sinner. “Did I correctly hear God’s call originally?” he asks. “Did I do wrong by leaving?”
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Before speculating whether you did the right thing by going into career ministry, or by leaving it, I would want to explore some other related questions. Did you enter ministry merely because others thought you should, or because you felt at your deepest level that God wanted you to do that? It might not be clear in your own mind, and I don’t mean to give you more worry if it is not. But that might be helpful to ask yourself. You also realize, I presume, that all believers are called to “ministry,” regardless of how they make a daily living.
If you entered career ministry because you felt God wanted you to, I do not think you should feel a need to leave because you are aware that you are a sinner. If you are honest with God about sin and do not try to hide it or excuse it in his sight, you are not being hypocritical, but humanly honest. That is all anyone can do. If we wait until we have no sin to be a servant of God, God will have no servants. Hypocrisy occurs when one is not sincere in her profession, or is deceitful toward God, or rationalizes and denies the evil of his sin. One is not a hypocrite who is trying and struggling, confessing to God and being honest.
You are certainly not alone. God is very experienced in dealing with sinners — indeed, some of his best children always have been quite weak ones. Those people who are closest to God are usually most conscious of their own sinfulness, and consequently also of his grace.