A gracEmail reader whose spouse, for financial reasons, does not want more children, is nevertheless hesitant to utilize birth control. "I feel disobedient to God's command to increase and multiply," this troubled person writes. "I feel like we are thwarting God's purpose for sex. Have you any advice?" * * * The command to increase and multiple occurs twice in Scripture. God so commands Adam and Eve after he creates them full-grown (Gen. 1:28), and he repeats the command to Noah and his three sons following the Flood (Gen. 9:1). In both cases, those addressed constituted the entire human … [Read more...]

A gracEmail subscriber asks the meaning of the second curse pronounced on Eve after she and Adam ate the forbidden fruit, that "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you" (Gen. 3:16, NIV). * * * Some interpreters have understood this to mean that women, who earlier in the verse were doomed to suffer pain in childbirth, will nevertheless be sexually attracted to their men who, in turn, will have their way with the women. That explanation is unlikely, however, for at least two reasons. First, it suggests that humans lacked sexual attraction before the Fall, although God … [Read more...]

A brother in the West inquires whether Paul's command not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14-16) prohibits believers from marrying or perhaps even dating non-Christians. * * * Surely it is most desirable for believers to marry others who also are committed to Jesus Christ. Now and then one hears the testimony of someone who won a mate to Christ, and both Paul and Peter acknowledge that possibility (1 Cor. 7:12-16; 1 Pet. 3:1-6). But those "success" stories are greatly outnumbered, it seems to me, by tales from beleagured Christians who wake every married day to face the … [Read more...]

A gracEmail subscriber asks whether it is advisable for a Christian to marry someone of a different race, tradition, upbringing, culture or religion, and whether such factors make a difference in the success or failure of a marriage. * * * I have no special expertise in marriage counseling by either training or experience and can only speak from observation over 61 years and personal experience after nearly 39 years of marriage. The joining of a man and a woman in marriage does not dissolve the distinctive identity of either spouse. It does involve the creation of a new partnership that, if … [Read more...]

A gracEmail subscriber seeks spiritual counsel concerning infrequent sexual relations with his wife. After caring for young children all day, she tells him she is too tired. He concludes that she has far less desire for sex than he does. He intends to be faithful to his wife but feels that he is being cheated by her abstinence which requires his as well. * * * Those who are expert in these matters generally agree that most wives are content with far less sex than most husbands, although sometimes the levels of desire tilt the other direction. The Apostle Paul, writing with permission from … [Read more...]

I have had the unusual privilege, as a minister underneath although an attorney on the surface, of performing the marriage ceremonies uniting my daughter Melanie with Mr. Michael Simpson (July 1997) and my son Jeremy with Miss Kristy Lang (August 1998). Each ceremony involved appropriate personal remarks, but both included my own biblical meditation from which the following thoughts are excerpted. * * * Even Paradise is incomplete if a fellow is by himself. At least, that was God's opinion about Adam's situation. So God made Adam a "help meet" for him, as the King James Version put it in … [Read more...]